After Effects
by musicmixer08
Summary: Pepper came to the mansion to find Tony on the ground, huddled against the wall. What's going on? I'm horrible with summaries. Please read! It's my first Pepperony fanfic! Right after Tony comes home from Afghanistan. Warning: PTSD mentions CHAPTER 2 IS UP
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! I hope you like this story! It's my first Pepperony so hope it's okay! Also, would you guys want this to be a one-shot or longer? Please leave a review below and let me know! Thanks and happy reading! :) (I apologize that nothing has line breakers, bolded, italicized, etc. For some reason it won't let me :p) Peppers POV "Finally the day is done," I thought to myself on the drive home. That was way too many meetings for one day. I pulled into the driveway of Tony's mansion. Ever since he's come back from Afghanistan he's had me stay here with him (in separate rooms of course) and ever since he came back, he's been acting really….strange. It really scares me because I love him too much to lose him to anything again. I know that it would never happen between us because I feel like I'll be one of his other women that he's thrown out and I don't want that to happen to me. As I got out of my car, I noticed the mansion was dark and it's never dark here. I quickened my pace so I could see what was going on. I walked in the door to a dark living room. "Tony?" I called out to the blackness. Nothing. Where can he be? I continued to say his name through the whole house. I finally made my way down to his workshop; the last place he could be. I typed in my passcode on the glass to get in. The door made an unlocking noise and I went in. "Tony?" I said quieter. I looked around and seen him huddled by the wall next to his cars. I practically ran to him but stopped short. "Tony, is everything all right?" All he did was sit there with his hands around his neck and his knees tucked in as close as they could. I came a little closer and noticed his heavy labored breathing and his noticeable shake. I sat down closer to him, but not by him. I wracked my mind trying to figure out what was wrong. "Come on Pepper think! Try to piece the last few days together to see what led to this!" I started thinking and it just dawned on me. He's spent hours down here which could mean he's trying to avoid thinking of something. He's avoided large amounts of water within the past week and seems as if he hasn't slept in forever. It has to be PTSD and he's having an anxiety attack right now. But now I have to figure out what to do. I slowly moved closer to him and eventually was right next to him. "Tony, it's me, Pepper? Can you hear me?" I asked. Nothing came back. I slowly put my hand on his back and as soon as I made contact he about jumped out of his skin. He jumped up and backed away with wide eyes. "Go away! Don't touch me, I haven't done anything wrong! Please," he said. His "please" was heartbreaking; he was on the verge of tears. "Tony, please it's me! You're scaring me!" I pleaded; he looked at me still wide eyed with panic written on his face, "You're at your home in Malibu. I'm not going to hurt you, see?" I held my hands up to show him I had nothing. He continued to back away. Maybe it wasn't I was going to hurt him with anything I could hold, maybe he thought I (or whoever he thought I was) was going water-board him again (who knew what else they did to him in that cave). I walked over to the only sink in the workshop and put my hand in there and pulled it back out to show him there was no water in the sink. "See? There's nothing in there, I promise," I told him. I started walking over to him slowly. He continued to stare at me while I walked over. I came up to him and put my hand on his arms and waited for his reaction. After standing there for a minute, I felt him muscles relax and heard him choke. I looked up and saw him crying. Within seconds he was falling to his knees, so I caught him just in time so he wouldn't hurt himself. I lowered him down with myself and put his upper body in my lap and rubbed his back and waited for him to calm down some. All I could keep telling him was "it's okay, shhh." After about 20 minutes of sobs he finally was starting to calm down to just sniffles. Eventually the silence was broken. "I'm sorry," he said barely audible above a whisper. "Tony, there's nothing to be sorry about, it's not your fault," I told him. "But I scared you and then all this happened," he mumbled. "Don't worry, it's all okay now," I said again. We sat there again for a while in the same position. "How long has this been going on?" I asked. He looked up at me like he didn't want to say. "Ever since I got back," he said softly. I looked at him in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you," I said in shock. "I didn't want you to worry…" he said. "I won't worry too much, don't worry. I want to help you," I told him. "Can I tell you something Pepper?" he asked, automatically changing the subject. I nodded for him to go on. "You know Afghanistan really changed me," he started as he got to an upright position, "I experienced things that I hope no one ever has to experience. There are some things I left out when I told you what happened over there because I'm not ready to tell you. But I really got to thinking about my life and about all those women from over the years and how wrong that was and that my drinking habits were wrong too. When I was really depressed back in the cave I always thought to myself 'God must've gave you a second chance to make this all right again and this thing is to remind you that you need to stay on the right path.' I still hate it though, I'm constantly in pain with this and breathing is totally different with it. I know something's wrong with me Pepper, I just don't want to admit it. What just happened has happened before, I just didn't tell you. I know I can trust you Pepper," he told me as he paused. "I'm so scared to tell you this because I don't know how you'll react. But I have to tell you. I love you Pepper and not like how I thought I loved those other women. You make me feel amazing and that I can get through this for you, because I know you want me to get through this," he said as a tear slid down my cheek. I didn't even know how to react to what he just said. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked since he noticed the tear on my cheek. He wiped the tear away with his thumb. "No you didn't, Tony. I was never going to tell you but I love you too," I laughed. All of a sudden we both busted out laughing; both relieved from what we just said to each other. "Can you promise me something, Tony?" I asked, still laughing some. "Yeah," he said. "You need to let me help you with this and that I won't be one of those other girls?" He came over to me and hugged me saying, "Yes Pepper and you will never ever be one of those other girls." Don't forget to leave a review! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Sorry about not updating in forever. Life kinda happened XD. So this is kind of a short chapter with a tad bit of religious!Tony in it. I thought I would try something a little different this time. A lot of the inspiration for this chapter came from a post on Tumblr by DirectingScienceDisneyLand. Go check her out. Another A/N at the end of the chapter.**

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He just wanted it _out._ He couldn't take the constant aching pain anymore along with breathing as if he was an asthmatic. It's only been two weeks since he came home from the hell-hole he was in and it was just beginning. He's already researched any way to get the Arc Reactor out, but there was nothing. He walked over to the mirror in his workshop and took off his shirt. He looked down at the arc reactor with a glare. _Why me_ he thought to himself. _Why did this have to happen to me? Oh_ _yeah, because you were a selfish person who only cared about himself. That's probably why God gave you this. _He continued to stare at the Arc in the mirror. His mind was swimming with all kinds of thoughts. He slowly was putting himself into a panic attack just standing there thinking. He moved his hand slowly up to the Arc to touch it but instead grabbed it and tried to somehow, _someway_ pull it out of him. His breathing started becoming ragged and short from his attempts to pull it out, the pain intensifying. He slowly sunk to the ground, still in front of the mirror. By now, he was in a full blown panic attack. He continued his attempts to get the Arc out, this time hitting it repeatedly with his fist.

"I can't deal with you anymore! Just come _out!_ Please!" he screamed, tears streaming down his face with his continued attempts to get it out.

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_"__Ms. Potts, I think Sir may need your assistance in his workshop downstairs."_ JARVIS said through the intercom overhead.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, worry in my voice.

_"__He seems to be having another anxiety attack, Ms. Potts." _ I hurried myself out of my office to the elevator. Waiting for the elevator to go down 10 floors seemed an eternity. _Oh, Tony. Why did this have to happen again? _I thought to myself over and over until I got downstairs. I quickly punched my code to get in.

"Tony, where are you?" I called out. I looked everywhere and then eventually found him on the floor by the mirror hitting himself right on the Arc Reactor. Tears were streaming down his face with choked sobs mixing in occasionally. I ran over to him and kneeled down next to him.

"Tony, you have to stop," I told him as I grabbed at his hands so he would stop hitting himself. He continued crying and he kept pulling against my hands as if he was going to keep hitting himself. I looked down to his chest to see red welts and markings around the Arc with one small little cut by it, barely bleeding.

"Tony! _Please_ stop! You're hurting yourself!" I yelled at him with tears in my voice. He stopped pulling his hands away from mine. His whimpers stopped as he looked up at me. He sat there for a second just looking right at me. It looked like he might be done with his crying, but it was just the beginning. His face twisted up and he started full out sobbing, _wailing_. I pulled him into my arms.

"Shh shh. Let it out. It's okay, I've got you," I repeated for about twenty minutes. He eventually calmed down and said,

"Pepper I don't want to deal with this _thing anymore_. I hate it." My heart broke at that.

"I'm sorry Tony, I really am."

"I'm going to die and go to Hell aren't I? From all the things I've done," he asked. Shocked at his question I replied,

"Tony you can't think that way. I thought you said you were changing your ways, that you were actually accepting Christianity or something like that. You know that you will make up all the stuff you've done in the past. God doesn't hate anyone," I continued. We went on for a few minutes about religion. I really think him accepting religion will help him too someday with me helping him with it along the way. Maybe I'll take him with me one day to church. I led him to the bathroom to clean up the small cut on his chest.

"Pepper, I love you. So much," he said breaking the silence.

"I love you too Tony, forever and always."

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**Don't forget to leave a review guys! :)**


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